One Sunday…

Disclaimer: The following words are not meant to be prescriptive, nor do they attempt to capture what we may be experiencing as a society. My intention is simply to gather my thoughts and emotions in response to the Bondi events and what followed. This is a personal reflection, written to help me stay grounded and positive.

It has been almost a week since the events on Bondi beach and I deliberately didn't post anything as I wanted my dust to settle. It has been a few days of constant barrage of posts on all platforms of media and there are 2 words that come into my mind that describe what I am feeling right now. Overwhelmed and fearful.

Looking back at the timeline of the events there is a collective trauma response evident. The effects of such an incident are like ripples that extend beyond victims, first responders, families and communities. It has a significant impact on our society. It will be forever imprinted and that is something that we will learn to live with. Our collective trauma.

The first phase was the shock. The shock of the events and the direct aftermath. We all seek information and social media is like this rapid delivery system but also a stress amplifier. Hypervigilance, fear and confusion are the immediate nervous system responses.

On Monday morning, I went to my local supermarket to do my grocery shopping. A familiar man, likely experiencing homelessness, was just sitting in the front, nothing unusual. A young girl who was walking next to me, suddenly turned around and almost started running and said "He has a screwdriver…" pointing at the man, with the fear painted on her face,  I smiled and kept walking trying to tell her with my eyes, it is ok, we are ok. The "perpetrator" was this lovely man who was just getting something to eat and was so polite and kind to the supermarket staff. Fear.

We are trying to understand, to give meaning to all this. To ask why? As this is incomprehensible, the confusion increases. The social media add to this confusion and our trauma responses are similar to the ones you experience from direct exposure.

And as we experience this the community solidarity emerges. Our need for connection and safety. The shared sense of grief creates ample messages of unity. The heroism of Ahmed became the beacon of light, to create that sense of unity. Gave us the hope that we still have faith in our human race, into our kindness.

But while we might be experiencing a period of solidarity  as the direct result of trauma bonding, the fractures of division emerge. Social media are flooded by any type of posts. Conspiracy theories, personal, political cultural and religious agendas. People take advantage of the pain. Public violence in all forms. Hate speech driven by the fear. The question who is responsible, fuels our frustration. We seek answers and point the fingers. Who is to blame? What do we need to do? When? When? When?

NOW

We are almost normalizing hostility. The trauma is narrowing our thinking. The us versus them mentality becomes our norm and all this while we still hurt, while we grieve. Grieve what we had. What we lost on that Sunday afternoon, on OUR beach, OUR city, OUR country, OUR world.

Now all the phases of trauma bleed together. The moral and ethical crusaders are pushing, pushing for legislation, change, fixes. But they are reactive, driven by media pressure and fear. Groups that are already marginalized are being stigmatized. Our need for control and safety overcome logic and kindness. Unintegrated trauma creates more trauma.

The extremist narrative is thriving across the spectrum. Our identity is threatened and as organizations and governments are not trusted, our emotions override logic.

Historically, similar events have been used as "proof" for a worldview, a policy or agenda and this is not an accident, this is a calculated, strategic exploitation of trauma.

But does everyone respond the same way? Many of us responded by simply switching off. Our freeze moment, where we simply dissociate and withdraw. Numbness takes over as our nervous system is not able to absorb or process the overload of information and emotions. That can lead to avoidance, disconnection from the community and reduction to seek help. Silence may be mistakenly perceived as resilience.

Public violence creates collective trauma. It fractures trust, cohesion, meaning and belonging.

How we respond individually and as a society determines whether the trauma will harden us or soften into awareness, into kindness and care.

The work now is to look into, not away. To stay present, connected and most importantly HUMAN.