What Is Male Privilege?

Male privilege refers to the unearned advantages men often receive simply because of their gender. It's like having a membership card you didn't know you carried that opens certain doors automatically. These advantages exist not because men are better or worse than anyone else, but because our society has historically been structured in ways that favour masculine traits and experiences.

Think of privilege as a moving walkway at the airport. If you're on it, you might not notice you're moving faster than someone walking on regular ground beside you. The walkway isn't your fault, but acknowledging it exists can help you understand different experiences.

A Father's Awakening: When My Daughters Opened My Eyes

A few years ago, I had a conversation with my daughters about safety that profoundly shifted my understanding. We were discussing their evening plans when they casually mentioned going to the toilet together when out in a club or pub or holding their keys between their fingers while walking out at night. What struck me wasn't just what they said, but how naturally they said it—as if these precautions were as normal as checking the weather.

In that moment, I realized how much I had taken my sense of safety for granted. Walking alone at night, going anywhere without a second thought, never considering whether my clothing might send the wrong message—these freedoms I'd never questioned were actually privileges I'd been unconsciously enjoying my entire life.

This wasn't about shame or blame. It was a moment of genuine awareness that made me want to be more thoughtful about how I move through the world and how I can use my position to create safer spaces for others.

Have you ever had a moment when someone you love casually mentioned something that completely shifted how you see the world? When the people closest to us share their reality, it often reveals invisible aspects of our own experience.

What This Taught Me:

The conversation revealed how different our daily experiences really are. While I might notice if a parking lot is poorly lit, I'd never considered it from the perspective of someone who feels vulnerable. My daughters weren't complaining or asking for pity—they were simply sharing their reality. Their matter-of-fact approach showed me that these safety considerations are just part of their normal thinking, not dramatic overreactions.

This awareness has made me more conscious of my role in creating environments where everyone feels secure and respected. It's not about feeling guilty for being male, but rather recognising that my experience of the world is just one perspective among many.

Recognizing Privilege in Daily Life

Here are some ways male privilege might show up in everyday situations:

In Professional Settings:

• Your ideas might be heard and respected more readily in meetings—Have you ever noticed how quickly your suggestions are adopted compared to when a female colleague makes the same point?

• Leadership potential is often assumed rather than questioned—When you walk into a room, do people automatically look to you for direction?

• Career progression rarely involves questions about balancing family responsibilities—Has anyone ever asked you at work how you are managing childcare and your workload?

• Networking opportunities through informal "boys' club" activities come more naturally—How many important conversations have you had on golf courses or over drinks that weren't accessible to everyone on your team?

In Social Situations:

• Walking alone at night feels safer and more natural—When was the last time you planned your route home based on lighting and foot traffic?

• Your clothing choices, assertiveness, or dating life face less scrutiny—Have you ever worried that being too friendly might be misinterpreted as flirtation?

• Respect in conversations often feels automatic rather than earned—Do you remember the last time someone interrupted you or dismissed your expertise?

• Your presence in male-dominated spaces goes unquestioned—Have you ever felt like you had to prove you belonged somewhere before you could contribute?

Reflecting on Safety Differently: After my conversation with my daughters, I began noticing how differently we approach basic activities. When I walk to my car after a late meeting, I'm thinking about tomorrow's schedule. When they do the same, they're scanning the environment, planning their route, and often coordinating with friends. This isn't paranoia—it's learned awareness based on lived experience.

What if every time you left a building at night, you had to consider: Is someone following me? Are my keys ready? Should I call someone so they know I'm walking alone? How would that constant vigilance change your sense of freedom?

In Relationships and Home Life:

• Household contributions might be praised as "helping" rather than expected as equal responsibility—When you do laundry or cook dinner, do people comment on what a great partner you are?

• Career sacrifices are rarely expected for family needs—Has anyone ever assumed you'd be the one to take time off when a child is sick?

• Emotional labour often happens around you rather than by you—Who remembers birthdays, plans social gatherings, and notices when relationships need attention in your circle?

Why This Matters for Men's Growth

Understanding privilege isn't about self-criticism—it's about expanding your awareness and improving your relationships. When we recognize unearned advantages, we can:

• Build stronger relationships by truly understanding others' experiences

• Become better leaders by creating more inclusive environments

• Reduce internal pressure by questioning restrictive masculine expectations

• Develop authentic confidence based on genuine skills rather than assumed authority

Research shows that changing the culture of masculinity can lead to reduced sexist attitudes and improved social wellbeing for men. This isn't about becoming less masculine—it's about choosing which aspects of masculinity serve you and others well.

The Privilege of Choice

One significant aspect of male privilege is having the choice to engage with these topics or not. Men in gender-untypical occupations such as nursing and child-care often become more aware of gender dynamics because their experiences make privilege more visible.

What would it feel like if your gender was constantly relevant to how others perceived your competence? Imagine if people regularly questioned whether you really belonged in your profession or assumed you were less capable because of how you were born.

This awareness can be uncomfortable at first. That's normal. Growth often involves questioning things we've taken for granted.

Moving Forward: From Awareness to Action

Understanding privilege doesn't require guilt or defensiveness. Instead, consider these approaches:

Start Small:

• Listen more actively when others share different experiences

• Notice when you might be taking up more space in conversations

• Question your initial reactions when someone points out an advantage you have

Practice Curiosity:

• Ask genuine questions about others' experiences without trying to fix or compare

• Notice when you feel defensive and explore what that might reveal

• Consider how your actions affect the people around you

Support Growth:

• Encourage other men to explore these ideas with curiosity rather than judgment

• Model vulnerability by sharing your own learning process

• Use your voice to amplify others when appropriate

Creating Safer Spaces: Practical Steps from My Learning Journey

Since my conversation with my daughters, I've been exploring ways to use my awareness constructively:

In Social Settings:

• Offer to walk colleagues to their cars after late meetings or events

• Notice if someone seems uncomfortable and check in respectfully

• Position yourself thoughtfully in crowded spaces—your presence can either create comfort or add pressure

In Professional Environments:

• Speak up when conversations become inappropriate, even in male-only spaces

• Support policies that improve physical safety (better lighting, security measures)

• Notice who speaks up in meetings and ensure different voices are heard

In Daily Interactions:

• Be mindful of personal space, especially in confined areas like elevators

• Recognize that your good intentions don't automatically make others feel safe

• Model respectful behavior that other men can observe and learn from

Teaching the Next Generation:

• Have open conversations with young men about consent and respect

• Share stories that build empathy without creating shame

• Demonstrate that strength includes being protective of others' wellbeing

The goal isn't to second-guess every interaction or feel constantly worried about your impact. Rather, it's about developing a broader awareness that helps you move through the world more thoughtfully. This awareness often leads to genuine confidence because it's based on understanding rather than assumptions.

Conclusion

Recognizing male privilege isn't about carrying shame or giving up your achievements. It's about understanding the full picture of how different people experience the world and using that awareness to build more authentic relationships and contribute positively to your community.

My daughters' casual mention of safety precautions taught me that awareness isn't about feeling bad—it's about growing up. It's about moving from unconscious assumption to conscious understanding. This shift has made me a better father, colleague, and community member.

The goal isn't to feel guilty about advantages you didn't ask for, but to use your awareness to create positive change—both in your personal growth and in your interactions with others. This understanding can actually enhance your confidence because it's based on genuine self-awareness rather than assumptions.

When we understand privilege, we can choose how to use our positions thoughtfully. We can be the men who make spaces safer, conversations more inclusive, and relationships more authentic. This isn't about diminishing ourselves—it's about expanding our capacity to contribute positively to the world around us.

What aspects of your experience might you want to explore with fresh eyes? How could this awareness serve your relationships, your role as a father, brother, or friend, and your personal development?

References

1. Flood, M. (2004). Men, Gender, and Development. Development Bulletin, No. 64, March, pp. 26-30.

2. Schwiter, K. (2021). Male privilege revisited: How men in female‐dominated occupations notice and actively reframe privilege. Gender, Work & Organization, 28(4), 1455-1472.

3. Psychology in Action. (2024). What Does Psychology Research Have to Say about Toxic Masculinity? Retrieved from https://www.psychologyinaction.org/psychology-of-toxic-masculinity/

4. McIntosh, P. (1988). White Privilege and Male Privilege: A Personal Account of Coming to See Correspondences Through Work in Women's Studies. Working Paper 189, Wellesley College Center for Research on Women.

This article is designed to promote reflection and growth. If you're interested in exploring these topics further, consider contacting The Men Spirit, joining a men's group, or engaging in continued reading on healthy masculinity and personal development.: