Fatherhood: What They Don't Put on Greeting Cards

The calendar reminds me that Father's Day is coming, and with it, the familiar ritual of choosing between novelty socks and barbecue sauce. But as I sit here thinking about what fatherhood really means, I can't help but feel that we've been selling ourselves short. We've accepted a narrative about dads that barely captures who we really are or what we really do.

It's time for a different conversation.

As another Father's Day is fast approaching, I am taking a moment to reflect on what being a father means to me. Especially when I think Father's Day, I think of mugs and tool vouchers, BBQs and beers. Please don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with these gifts, but isn't it time to move away from this traditional and almost materialistic celebration of fatherhood? Motherhood is celebrated in a deeper way, and without trying to take away anything from this, maybe it is time to change what we perceive fatherhood to be.

To all the men out there, whether you are a biological father, a step father, a grandfather, a father figure, an uncle, a foster parent or carer. We are truly powerful and amazing. We are not just the providers. We are not just the safety. We are the role models, we are the ones who shape our children's lives, we are the ones who don't just build houses, we are creating homes. We are the creators of memories and endless laughter. The ones who have spent endless hours trying to catch a fish together, teach you how to skip a rock or watch a shooting star in the night sky. The ones who are still able to laugh and tell a bedside story when our bodies and souls are completely broken. The ones that are too embarrassed to cry when we watched together a silly movie on the TV. The ones who held you up high playing airplane while our backs were ready to give up. The ones who sat for hours in the car before walking into the house, trying to wipe away our tears, so you won't see us sad or think that we are weak.

And maybe, we knew what we were doing, maybe we thought we were right, maybe we thought we had everything worked out, maybe we thought we would never let you down. But we never wanted to hurt you. We are also trying to figure everything out. We are also trying to become better at this. We are also being taught by you. We are learning to let go of all the things that are holding us prisoners in our lives.

Fatherhood is a gift. It's an opportunity, it is the opportunity to learn to love yourself as a father and pour that back into our children. Not because you have to, not because your religion, or society told you. Because you are a father, because you are love.

The truth about fatherhood isn't found in greeting cards or gifts. It lives in the quiet moments, the messy ones, the times when we're running on empty but still find a way to show up. It's in our willingness to be students as much as teachers, to be vulnerable as much as strong.

We are living proof that love comes in many forms. That protection doesn't always mean being the toughest person in the room. That providing goes far beyond paychecks and includes providing comfort, providing laughter, providing the safety to make mistakes and grow from them.

This Father's Day, let's celebrate the fathers we actually are, not the caricatures we've been handed. Let's honour the complexity, the growth, the beautiful imperfection of men raising the next generation with hearts wide open.

To every father who has ever felt like he wasn't enough, who has questioned his choices, who has loved so fiercely it hurt: you are exactly what your children need. Not perfect, but present. Not flawless, but faithful. Not superhuman, but wonderfully, perfectly human.

That's the kind of fatherhood worth celebrating.